Thursday, September 18, 2014

owls and UFO experiencers along a lake in Maine

That small black shape in the tallest tree is an owl

Last weekend I attended a UFO conference in Portland, Maine. Instead of the usual talk of UFOs in the sky and conspiracy theories, the event focused more towards UFO experiencers, the folks who've had the direct contact experience. I was one of the presenters and I gave a one hour long talk on owls, synchronicity and the UFO abductee. This must have resonated with a lot of the attendees because plenty of 'em took me aside and earnestly shared their personal owl experiences. 

After the conference a crew of the speakers and attendees traveled up to a cabin near a lake about an hour's drive north of Portland. The host, Audrey Starborn (a pseudonym), called this a soul family gathering because pretty much everyone in attendance was an experiencer.

A curious thing happened within the first few minutes of my arrival. I was on the grass near an elevated deck off the back of the cabin where a bunch of the guests were standing together. As I stood below them I heard everybody suddenly cry out in a collective exclamation, as if they all said "Wow!" at the exact same time. 

Seconds later, Audrey leaned over the edge of the deck holding a small downy feather. She looked down at me and said, "An owl feather just floated down and landed right between all of us!"

Even though this occurred in full daylight (an odd time for an owl to be in flight) no one saw a bird above them. They described watching the little feather slowly drifting down from high above them coming in from a spot well off to the side of the deck from the direction of the lake, and landing at the feet of a fellow who attended the conference. This was a guy who, the day previously, had sat me down at the conference and rattled off a long list of personal owl experiences, each preceding a set of UFO contact events.

Everyone was buzzing with excitement about this feather landing right at the moment of my arrival, as though the owl spirit announced the entrance of the owl guy

 this is a long essay, read more below 

Friday, September 12, 2014

crop circle with an owl

recent crop circle where an owl makes an appearance

Robbert van den Broeke is a young Dutch man who has had a set of very strange life experiences as well as ongoing psychic phenomenon. His case has been documented by multiple researchers but the utter strangeness of what is taking place around him has left him open to criticism by skeptics.

The following text is from an email posted by Nancy Talbot on Sept. 11th 2014:
Knowing when the new circles are coming is not always as much fun as people might think. Robbert sometimes suffers depression for several days prior to the arrival of new formations and this was the case this time. By happenstance Roy Boschman was with him late on the night of September 10th when Robbert suddenly “knew” they should drive to the Palingstraat in Hoeven (where the September 3rd maize “horseshoe” formation had appeared), this time seeing (in a “vision”) a “field of flowers.” He also felt an energy he describes as “playful and sweet”—a combination of “Angel, ET and animal (in particular a bird) energies”—close around him.

Dutch parapsychologist Richard Krebber, who has recently been working with Robbert, had asked that he be called if or when another formation appeared, and so was with Robbert and Roy as they found the new circle. Krebber had purposefully brought along his fully-charged I-phone and witnessed, first-hand, the regularly-reported cell phone (and other electronic devices) failure in new crop formations. 

There was a nearly-full moon and while the men were inside the mustard-seed field (no tram-lines) Robbert suddenly saw a dark shadow and felt “something mystical” was watching them...  
and then they all saw a large owl which swooped down very low over the formation, circling it three times—counter-clockwise—in the same direction as the flattened plants.  
Robbert had the distinct feeling that this owl’s consciousness included, or also contained, a bigger consciousness which was observing the men and was also “energizing” the new formation.  [it is a fact that Robbert, himself, can cause birds to go to sleep simply by focusing on them, so this idea that the owl may have represented a consciousness capable of affecting its surroundings doesn’t seem so outrageous to him.]

While inside the formation Robbert felt a “rotational” energy and all three men felt a distinct warmth in their legs. Mr. Krebber reported also feeling a tingling in his arms and, especially, his hand—adding that for about 10 seconds he felt an unusual, but pleasant, sensation of “something stretching my body up.”  
(text above edited for brevity and clarity) 

For additional information and photos of this formation, see Robbert’s Crop Circle Archive.  

Friday, September 5, 2014

The Death of Socrates

"All we are is dust in the wind..."

I've been in New York City for over a week, and yesterday I spent a few hours in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I've spent a lot of time there over the decades, and the place feels like being home.

I asked at the front desk where I could find the paintings of Jacques Louis David, I wanted to see the works of Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres even more, but his name is so much harder to pronounce, so I said just David. I knew these works would be near each other.

I get instructions from a nice lady with a French accent, and I walk through the maze of galleries on a quest to the one I asked about. 

I see some beautiful stuff along the way, and then I enter a room and see the huge canvas of The Death of Socrates. I walk up to it, and what do I see but an owl!

There is a man on a stone seat with his hand on Socrates thigh. That seat has a owl chiseled into the seat, along side some greek text. (see detail at left) As far as I can tell, the text says something about Athens. This is referred to as an incised owl of Athens. Below this David's signature.

This painting is all about wisdom, as well as death. So the owl (the symbol for Athens) is doubly appropriate.

Plato is also in the painting, hunched over in a mournful pose at his philosopher pal's feet. He is credited with the ideas of the archetype, and this plays out deeply in my ongoing research about owls.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

four owls all lined up on four posts

rural Wiltshire County

While traveling through the countryside of England this summer, I stayed in traditional little inns. Dinner was served each evening, and there was one night I was busy until late, so I came back just before the kitchen closed, in time for dessert and a pint of stout. I was the only one in the small dining area, and the waitress sort of stared at me and eventually asked, "Are you one of those crop circle people?"

I replied, "Well, sort of."

She explained that the inn gets a lot of 'croppies' each summer, and she was sort of mystified by them. I explained that I had spent the day at a crop circle conference on the campus of Marlborough College. Then I told her I was working on a book about owls. She told me that was odd because just the other evening when she was pulling into her driveway she saw a set of owls. She lives on a nearby farm, and there are four posts alongside her driveway and there was a big owl on each of the posts, four of them all lined up. They didn't fly away as she pulled in, they just sat there as she lit them up with her headlights.

I asked when that was, and she said two nights ago, the same day I arrived at the inn.

At that point I mumbled, "Oh, that was me."

She looked at me quizzically, and said, "What? Do you think you somehow manifested those owls?"

"Well, maybe."

Then I asked if she sees a lot of owls. She said not very often, but they are around. I asked if she had ever seen four in a row like that, she said, "No, never."

I then went on to explain the weirdness of my research, and how owls seem to show up in all kinds of strange ways, sometimes it seems in direct connection to me. I guess I made my point because she seemed to take me seriously and said that, "Maybe you did manifest those owls."

She told about growing up in Wiltshire and how the area is rich with folklore. She was skeptical about most of these tales, that it was just part of living here. She told me a story about a friend who was hunting rabbits, and was about to shoot towards a hedge row when an small orange orb appeared, floating near where he was pointing his gun, causing him to pause. At that point a fellow walked out from behind the bushes along a foot path. If he would have fired his riffle, he quite probably would have shot that man, so the little orb might have saved a life.

Friday, August 29, 2014

1,234 page views

screen grab from analytics page

My page-views from yesterday, another 1234 sync. Curiously, this was the day I wrote more than a few comments on the post for Sherry Wilde's interview. I was supporting her, some folks that were having a hard time with the tone of our conversation. An interview where we laugh about our shared 1234 syncs.

I am typing this from a coffee shop in Brooklyn, I am in a window seat facing the door across the street, the address is 123.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

audio conversation with Sherry Wilde

Sherry Wilde had been living an idyllic life as a wife, mother and business owner, at least until 1987 when her community experienced a profound UFO flap. This event prompted her to look into her own memories of a missing time event when she was a teenager. What emerged forced Sherry to accept her involvement in a terribly challenging phenomenon.

She was now faced with the indisputable evidence that she had been experiencing ongoing contact with extra-terrestrial beings, and it had been happening all throughout her life. This new reality, and all of its bizarre implications, almost pushed her over the edge.

  one-click audio download HERE  
one hour / 29 minutes

Inexplicably she found herself writing a book about the encounters. The act of writing opened up her memories of hidden events and the teachings these beings had imparted to her. She now accepts the truth of these encounters and has cooperative contact on a regular basis with the beings she affectionately refers to as "her guys."

He book is titled The Forgotten Promise: Rejoining Our Cosmic Family

Sherry said:
This is my story. I cannot prove any of it. For years I was encouraged to write about these experiences, but I resisted. This was not an easy story for me to write, and it might not be easy for you to read or believe. I understand that. . . This book is not only a recounting of my experiences but also the story of how I discovered that, like most things, it is possible to turn the worst thing in your life into something positive just by choosing to look at it from a different perspective.

Sherry's book is available at her website. And, here is an excellent audio interview with Sherry on Veritas Radio.

This video is a good introduction to Sherry and her experiences

Monday, August 25, 2014

Owls, Synchronicity and the UFO Abductee 105 minutes long presentation

recorded June 28th, 2014 in Leeds UK

This was the second time I gave the talk titled: Owls, Synchronicity and the UFO Abductee. I spoke at a small conference in Leeds England, hosted by the Exopolitics Great Britain Lecture series. I was given a whopping hour and 45 minutes to talk, and this allowed for fuller exploration of both my my research and personal experiences.

This is a nicely edited video presentation, with cutaways to the visuals. This complex story requires a lot of imagery and this is a wonderful format.

I need to send a huge thank-you to Anthony Beckett for his role as host, and asking me to cross the ocean to share my ideas. I grew a beard so (hopefully) I would appear smarter.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Dr. John Mack talks on alien encounters

A presentation by Dr. John Mack on the subject of alien encounters, held at the Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS) an organization created by astronaut Edgar Mitchell. This talk took place in Sausalito California on April 28, 1995. Included within the discussion is the Zimbabwe Ariel School sighting, though those clips of the student interviews have been omitted at the request of Dr. Mack. He also briefly discusses a private group meeting with the Dalai Lama that occurred in 1992.

At 31:20 he answers a question from none other than Jacques Vallee.

This clip lead me to another posting by Jack Brewer at a site called The UFO Trail. It has a video clip of Dr. Mack talking about hypnosis. I check in on this site, but I find I disagree with almost everything there, less so in content, but more in tone. Anyway, there was a clip posted of Dr. Mack talking about hypnosis, and I chimed in. I ended up leaving a handful of comments, and some of these are rather long winded. 

Here is what I initially wrote:
It is curious that you ignored Mack's opening statement:

"The bulk of data about the abduction phenomena does not come from hypnosis. Almost all my cases report their experiences just straight forwardly."
This rings true from my direct experience as a researcher.

I have been actively talking to people who claim the abduction experience in their lives, and almost all of them have never had any kind of hypnosis. They tell me their very strange stories, and yes there is a sense that some things are missing, as if they were subject to some sort of amnesia concerning parts of their experiences.

But, what is remembered consciously is enough for them to conclude that something very bizarre has intersected with their lives.

  link to the posting and video clip HERE  

Friday, August 15, 2014

Did You Hear? UFOlogy is Dying. Again.

Christopher Knowles posted an article in The Secret Sun, in response to another article declaring (yet again) the death of ufology. He writes:

New York Magazine spends the slow weeks of midsummer declaring "The End of UFOs!" The title is a major misnomer, as the article in question is actually about the latest death of UFOlogy (or UFOOLogy, as it's alternately known). UFOlogy has died so many times I've lost count... __

The New York piece makes this very important observation:
None of this, however, was a reason to close the books on flying saucers. This would be impossible, since if you happened to have laid eyes on something you sincerely believed to be a UFO, it tends to stick.

I will never be free of that cold winter’s night in 1989 when, along with my wife, I saw a saucer-shaped object fly down the East River and soar beneath the Brooklyn Bridge. The way the craft seemed to coquettishly blink its lights as if to say, "even here, I appear, and then disappear" told me, that against all rationality, this particular interface with the ineffable was meant for me.

  read the full article HERE  

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

The Paracast comments on the recent Open Minds article

My pal Red Pill Junkie contacted me the other day and told me that the hosts of The Paracast had mentioned my Open Minds article during their Aug 3rd show. It was interesting to hear them talk about it, I feel they got my intentions wrong, but it was good to hear their musings. They also got their guest, Stanton Friedman, to comment on the article. Again, I feel they missed the gist of what I was trying to explore. I felt I was simply reporting what several abduction researchers had concluded.

  one-click audio download HERE  

So, I did a rather long-winded (26 minute) reply along with the commentary by the hosts, Christopher O'Brien and Gene Sterinberg along with Stanton Friedman himself.

The full Paracast episode is posted HERE. And, the article in Open Minds is linked HERE.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

the possible unsettling implications of UFO sightings

The website OPEN MINDS just posted an article written by me. It explores the conclusions that some abduction researchers are coming concerning UFO sightings. The implication being that many, if not most UFO sightings have a buried abduction component.

  read the full article HERE  

This article for OPEN MINDS came about during an audio interview I did with their editorial staff. I spoke with Jason McClellan, Maureen Elsberry and Alejandro Rojas about their roles as full time UFO journalists. During that interview I was pestering them to dig deeper in their articles, to go "below the waterline" and write about the weirder aspects of the UFO phenomenon. I think I was almost, but not quite, acting rude.

During that interview, Jason suggested I write an article for the site. So, this was my response to his suggestion. I feel I tried point out some of the "weirder" stuff that I feel the nuts and bolts folks seem to avoid. This is what I feel I am pretty good at, bringing up the weirder aspects in a fairly grounded way.

The idea for the article came from a series of conversations I had with Elaine Douglass. I quoted an article she wrote for the MUFON journal, linked HERE. I consider Elaine's article required reading!

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Dean Radin's extraordinary synchronicity

Dean Radin tells an amazing story. Well worth the 7 minutes. More from Dean in this wonderful conversation with Jeff Kripal, in the player below. Dean is the author of several books, including Entangled Minds and The Conscious Universe, linked HERE.


Wednesday, July 23, 2014

podcast 42 Minutes

The Lorenz system
This image represents a system of ordinary differential equations, first studied by Edward Lorenz. It is notable for having chaotic solutions for certain parameter values and initial conditions.

  one click audio download HERE  

Yesterday I spoke with Will Morgan and Douglas Bolles at the synchronicity focused podcast 42 Minutes. We spoke about a divers set of topics, including the Lorenz Attractor, the image show above. We also dug into Chaos, Synchronicity, Owls, UFOs, Grey Alien, Mind Control, Messenger, Dream Analysis, Queen Of The Night, Shamanic Awakenings and the Spiritual Path.

A recommended discussion.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Queen of the night

The Burney Relief and myself, London. 
Click on any image for a hi-rex view.
If you google the words OWL and GODDESS, The Burney Relief will come up at the top of the list. I know because I've been digging for these words and how they connect. I was recently in London and my hotel was just a few blocks away from The British Museum (home of the Burney Relief). Curiously, I was staying at the Hotel Athens, Athens named after Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom with a companion little owl.

Anyway, I walked to the museum, and found it within minutes. It as rather small given all that has been written about it.

It is a Mesopotamian terra-cotta plaque depicting a winged, nude, goddess-like figure with bird's talons, flanked by owls, and perched upon supine lions. The relief, know as The Queen of the Night, has dated it between 1800 and 1750 BCE. It originates from southern Iraq, but the exact site where it was found is unknown. There is much debate whether the woman represents Lilith, Lilitu, Inanna, Ishtar, or Ereshkigal. Also, is she a goddess or a demon? All these points are unknown, but open to endless speculation, making any research a bottomless pit of wishy-washiness.

I recognize the temptation to cherry pick the available data (and there is a lot of it), then latch onto someone's conclusion that matches my own avenue of thought. I reference the Burney Relief in my ongoing book project as well as my presentations. All I can really say is that this image seems to represent something more demonic than the goddess Athena (also seen with owls), and that the myth of Lilith was that she could shape shift into an owl, fly at night and drink the blood of babies. So, this tablet might represent the more ominous aspects of the mythology of owls.

the card accompning the Burney Relief
What I can say is that this image is really tidy. As an artist, I am impressed with the simple use of symmetry, and the stylization of the owls and the lions. What is also interesting is that the woman's face is a little bit sloppy and poorly proportioned. From my own direct experience, it is terribly challenging to capture the subtleties of the feminine face. So, I can sympathize with the artist.

The Burney Relief

Saturday, July 12, 2014

thoughts on past life hypnosis session London, July 2nd 2014

I sat on a reclining chair for over three hours with a hypnotherapist by my side. Her name is Lorraine Flaherty. Dear God, I am beside myself as I type this. I feel great, but what I went through would be hard to describe. I sobbed uncontrollably for I am not sure how long. It was a past life session, with only a little bit about the UFO stuff. What emerged blew my mind. 

I wrote that on a beautiful summer afternoon in a London coffee shop about an hour after the session ended. The story that I whispered from that chair was exceedingly dramatic, so much so that I am cautious to believe it entirely. It might be a metaphor, or it might have happened just as I described. What emerged was a brutal account of vanity, alcoholism, beatings, blindness and suicide; all from some previous life in the British Isles.

Before the actual session began Lorraine asked me some questions about what I was hoping to uncover and solve with the hypnosis. We spoke for a few minutes, and I tried to describe some of my issues, something I've gotten quite good at after being in and out of therapy for decades. I've had a lifetime of clinical depression, and this can manifest itself as a kind of sallow lifelessness. It can feel like my feet are trapped in cement, I told that to her as a way to describe this oppressive sensation of being stuck.

 this is a long essay, read more below 

Sunday, June 29, 2014

report from the UK

photo by Robbie Graham
Leeds is the city of owls. The Leeds municipal building, just opposite the conference venue, is adorned with an absurd number of owls. I had just finished a very successful talk where I shared my owl research and my own ongoing experiences.

I received this note via facebook last night:
Thought you might like to know that on the last leg of my journey home, within 5 mins of reaching my house, an owl flew across the front of my car. The sync made me smile.
Also, there was a woman on the left side of the auditorium (the side nearest the lectern) who was visibly flinching to some of my comments. My sense was that my stories were hitting home for this person. I was heartened during my talk that I might have been connecting with some of what I was sharing. If anyone knows this person, I would be most interested in asking a few questions.

peace from the island of my ancestors,
Mike C

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Budd Hopkins on TV in the late 80's

Footage from a talk show appearance with Budd Hopkins around the time of the publication of his 1987 book Intruders. Also on stage with Debbie Tomey, the real name of Kathie Davis. The stories told on this show were quite new at the time. That said, it is curious as to how little has been added to the overall pool of knowledge after a quarter of a century.

Also of note: Some audience members are seen wearing HUGE glasses, unlike Budd who has rather normal sized glasses.

  a collection of documentaries on UFO abduction liked HERE  

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The Hidden Hand is now available on NetFlix

now on the mainstream 
James Carmen's documentary The Hidden Hand is now available on NetFlix.  I can recommend this film highly. The comments are worth skimming through. Yikes, I'll say that a lot of those folks commenting doesn't read this blog. Like this:
Attention Tin Foil Hat People! This is your kind of doc....I'm outta here. Stupid, just plain stupid..
Well, I just gave it a good review with lots of stars, which it deserved! And, I was honored to do an interview last year with James (linked HERE).

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

audio conversation with Kewaunee Lapseritis

Author, researcher and contactee with both
Sasquatch and the UFO occupants
I read the The Psychic Sasquatch shortly after it first came out in 1998. I had come across whisperings of psychic experiences as well as UFO sightings, in connection to Sasquatch, but this was the book I had ever read on the subject. I was kind of mystified, and the one question that was in the forefront of my mind, was who was this author? Well, I met him in February of 2014, and after about ten seconds of talking with him it all became clear.

Kewaunee Lapseritis is a tall strong man who stands straight up with a power that that impressed me. He spoke about his experiences with both ETs and Sasquatch with a forthrightness in a way that I found oddly soothing. I liked the guy enormously.

  one-click audio download HERE  

Just a few days ago I finished reading his most recent book, The Sasquatch People. On one level the book is an endless set of reports, one after another, of people’s interactions with big hairy people in the forest, but each story had a psychic element, or something multidimensional or ETs were involved. Literally hundreds of these reports within these pages.

I think anyone who looks into this stuff has a continuum of how they frame what they are Well, Kewaunee is way out at the far edge of the continuum of what I’m capable of believing. In a lot of ways, he is saying things I have heard repeatedly from contactees, but from the UFO end of the spectrum, not from a Sasquatch perspective. So, I was both challenged and delighted by both his book and this conversation.

Kewaunee’s website HERE, and his books can be found HERE.

If you have a personal Sasquatch experience, I am certain he would love to hear it! You can contact him through his website HERE.

We jumped right into the deepest waters with this talk, if you want a good intro to his ideas and research, click HERE.
Kewaunee Lapseritis, AS, BA, MS, is a holistic health consultant, social scientist, masterh herbalist and master dowser with background in anthropology, psychology, conservation, and holistic health. Kewaunee taught anthropology for one year at North Adams State College and later taught dowsing and psychic development at the Wisconsin Society for Psychic Reasearch. He has the researched the Sasquatch phenomenon for the last 55 years. Mr. Lapseritis is both a Sasquatch and ET "contactee."

Monday, June 9, 2014

the reoccurring message

a quote that has the ring of truth

As I proceed forward, the idea of shamanism, or more specifically the role of the shaman, has been welling up in my work and I am trying to pull on those threads. 

Last week I spoke on the phone with Joe Lewels, Ph.D., the author of two books I really like, The God Hypothesis and Rulers of the Earth. I contacted him specifically to ask about shamanism. He had spent time with Dr. John Mack, they traveled together throughout Mexico talking to shamans about their connections with other realms, and how could this be the same realm as the UFO occupant.

One of the things Joe spoke about (and was in his books) was his feeling that he survived his time as a pilot in Viet Nam by direct intervention from some other realm. I also asked Joe if he had any UFO contact experiences, he said he had asked himself that same question, and feels strongly that he hasn’t.

Then I had two amazing conversations over the weekend, one on Saturday evening and the next on Sunday morning. The first was with a woman who I had talked with three years ago, and I wanted to check in again just to hear how she was doing. She experienced a profound missing time event in her car, that plays out like a textbook abduction event. Afterwords, through a series of synchronistic and psychic experiences, she was compelled to begin a Norse tradition of shamanistic practices. She ended up moving to a home directly across the street from a Civil War cemetery, and this unleashed all kinds of paranormal weirdness, including seeing Union soldiers in her yard in the middle of the night.

The next morning my phone rang and the voice on the other end was nervous and apologetic. It was from a young man who said he felt compelled to call me. What followed was a two and a half hour conversation where it seemed both of us was confirming and validating the others experiences. It was as if we each had missing puzzle pieces and we were handing those pieces to each other in a way that helped shine a light on both of our overall experiences. It was really powerful sense of connection. Like the call from the night before, this guy had textbook contact events, he was compelled to follow a Norse tradition of shamanistic practices, and he was in the military.

The themes of these phone calls all overlapped and intertwined. As I write this there is a feeling of one long blurred communication, albeit it with three different people.

What we all agreed on was that, collectively we as humans, are dangerously adrift. Something is terribly wrong and we don’t seem to have any tools to alter what feels like train track heading toward some sort of doom.

I told all three folks that I have a working model for how I have been framing these contact experiences. It feels like the UFO abduction lore is playing out like a shamanic initiation, and the experiencers I interact with all seem to be playing the role of shaman, or at least some facet of that kind of work. I talk to a lot of people claiming the UFO contact experience, and pretty much all of them are channelers, Reiki masters, psychic mediums, healers, therapists or they are writing a book in the hopes of helping other experiencers. (This comes up again below)

In my notes from these calls I found this scribbled at the edge of the page: idea for a new book, shamans are being created, or forced (forged) by these entities. This idea was explored in John Mack’s 1999 book Passport to the Cosmos, he argued that direct UFO could be compared to a shamanic initiation. 

Here are some quotes from Joe from our conversation. He was articulating what I have been feeling.
I see see whats called the alien abduction phenomenon, and I don’t like that term… lets say experiences with non-human intelligence… and the people who are having these experiences are, many times rather unwillingly, being dragged into a shamanic apprenticeship. The people having these experiences are being taught how to heal, they are consciousness is being elevated, they are being given opportunities to help people. Many of them will leave their jobs and then become reiki masters and massage therapists and hypnotherapists, and all of these can be seen as forms of shamanic activity…

We need shamans, and if society doesn’t provide them, the universe will.
During our conversation I shared some of my own stories, and he listened closely, taking on the role of therapist. Then he spoke directly to me:
Follow your heart is the opposite of following your brain. You are following your brain and not your heart, that's what I see. You’re trying to reason this out logically and objectivity and objectivity is just an illusion, there is no such thing so you are waisting your time being logical. It sounds to me like your guides are pushing like hell to get you to move forward and you are just kind of digging your heels in. Anytime you are doing something that helps people, you are on the right track. Just jump in with both feet, you’re on the right track.